Poor Mr. Smythers!

Yesterday I finished the book "Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God" by C.J. Mahaney. If you are familiar with the book you know it was written to husbands. Ben read it a couple of weeks ago and thought it was good, so I decided to read it anyway. It is a short, easy to read book full of practical advise and biblical wisdom. I am thankful my husband not only reads these books, but implements the things he reads into his life.
The last chapter is written by Carolyn Mahaney. It is actually a chapter taken out of her book "Feminine Appeal," which I read earlier this year. In it, she quotes yet another book written by Ruth Smythers in the 1800's. She was a pastor's wife and wrote a book instructing and advising young brides. The following is a quote from this book. It may seem long, but I think you'll be interested in reading it:

"To the sensitive young woman who has had the benefits of proper upbringing, the wedding day is ironically, both the happiest and most terrifying day of her life. On the positive side, there is the wedding itself, in which the bride is the central attraction in a beautiful and inspiring ceremony, symbolizing her triumph in securing a male to provide for all her needs for the rest of her life. On the negative side, there is the wedding night, during which the bride must "pay the piper," so to speak, by facing for the first time the terrible experience of sex.
At this point, dear reader, let me concede one shocking truth. Some young women actually anticipate the wedding night ordeal with curiosity and pleasure! Beware such an attitude! A selfish and sensual husband can easily take advantage of such a bride. One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: GIVE LITTLE, GIVE SELDOM, AND ABOVE ALL, GIVE GRUDGINGLY. Otherwise, what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust.
On the other hand, the bride's terror need not be extreme. While sex is at best revolting and at worst rather painful, it has to be endured, and has been by women since the beginning of time, and is compensated for by the monogamous home and by the children produced through it.
It is useless, in most cases, for the bride to prevail upon the groom to forego the sexual initiation. While the ideal husband would be one who would approach his bride only at her request, and only for the purpose of beggeting offspring, such nobility and unselfishness cannot be expected from the average man.
Most men, if not denied, would demand sex almost every day. The wise bride will permit a maximum of two brief sexual experiences weekly during the first months of marriage. As time goes by she should make every effort to reduce this frequency. Feigned illness, sleepiness and headaches are among the wife’s best friends in this matter. Arguments, nagging, scolding and bickering also prove very effective if used in the late evening about one hour before the husband would normally commence seduction.
Clever wives are on the alert for new and better methods of denying and discouraging the amorous overtures of the husband. A good wife should expect to have reduced sexual contacts to once a week by the end of the first year of marriage and to once a month by the end of the fifth year of marriage. By their tenth anniversary many wives have managed to complete their child bearing and have achieved the ultimate goal of terminating all sexual contacts with the husband. By this time, she can depend upon his love for the children and social pressures to hold the husband in the home.”

The ideas of this pastor’s wife are just that - HER ideas. This certainly does not describe the mind of God. I wonder how many marriages her book ruined. I’m thankful that the Bible discusses so many issues, even that of sex. Sex is a good thing that glorifies God when in the context of marriage.
Mr. Smythers must have been a miserable man!