Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The Crazy Lady

I am reading Created to Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl (again) and came across the section she titled, "Crazy Lady." I thought I would share this section because I know that none of us want to become this person. She's the woman who complains that her husband isn't spiritual enough and has spent years growing angry and bitter over all the people who have offended her in life. By middle age she realizes that she doesn't have a man who cherishes her and yet can't accept the fact that it is probably her fault. Here is what Debi has to say:

"No woman has ever been happy and fulfilled who neglected to obey God in regard to her role as a help meet. As you read the following example, you will recall some woman you know who is in her forties and has a few 'emotional issues.' Her excuse might be menopause, but you will find that bitterness is the real source. A hormonal change doesn't change a woman's soul; it just tears down her carefully constructed defenses against expressing the carefully guarded content of her heart.
I'll never forget something that happened several years ago. A middle-aged couple with several children moved into our area so they could get counseling. The woman didn't like the counseling they had already received. She thought that by moving into our community where there were so many 'spiritual men,' her husband would 'get some help.' "

Debi goes on to explain how over the years this woman began to control her husband. Rather than be his help meet, she thought it was her job to be his conscience. As she tried to dominate and manipulate her husband, he changed. Once a very confident person, he now was insecure and frustrated - which his wife claimed was due to his lack of faith.

Debi continues, "We shared God's Word with her, telling her that her disobedience and lack of reverence to her husband were sin. She was shocked that we would think she was disobedient to her husband. . . She was totally deceived into thinking that her female intuition, sensitivity, and passions were spirituality. She had no idea that she was a woman in total rebellion against God."

Debi then goes on to explain how this woman literally went CRAZY and began accusing her husband of all kinds of evil deeds and doing everything in her power to embarrass him and destroy him. She concludes the chapter with this,

"By the time many women are entering their fortieth year . . . they have spent several years of their life irritated at their husbands, daily feeling hurt and responding with coldness and bitterness. Instead of practicing being thankful and merry, they are practicing bitterness. As practice enables the pianist to find the right keys without effort or thought, so a woman who practices discontentment will, without thought, hit the notes of bitterness when her chain is pulled. Practicing, always practicing, perfecting her bitterness and discontentment.
She has practiced her bitterness until it comes naturally, and she does not even recognize it. She will usually define herself as one who stands against pride and evil. She will 'do what is right, even if no one else will.'
In the course of time, as her edginess and moodiness grow, she realizes that she can no longer control herself. One day, she 'snaps' and she loses control, screaming like a crazy woman and calling loved ones terrible names. She will say it was 'just a bad hormone day,' but the family will wonder. The family learns to tolerate her blow-ups, and she keeps practicing . . . .
The disturbed woman expects her family to appease her and is offended when they act like life is just fine. God is visiting her soul with a terrible rot called madness. First she is only mad at her husband. Years pass and she is mad at the family. As time goes on she is mad at the Church. Then she is mad at the mailman and mad at the waitress. Practicing, always practicing, perfecting her madness. Mad, all the time mad. MADNESS. "

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law." (Galatians 5:22-23)


The Neals said...

kelly - thanks for sharing that!

Trail Rated said...

Excellent - and for men too. We can be an angry lot!

A hormonal change doesn't change a woman's soul; it just tears down her carefully constructed defenses against expressing the carefully guarded content of her heart.

What a good reminder that I am not a product of my environment. I can be influenced by it, or influence it (not manipulate it) for Christ.

Jeanna said...

That really is such a great book. Very convicting! That is probably the most motivating part of it for me as I see so many woman in that condition. Every married woman should read this book!